Move Beyond Codependency and Feel Safe
In the World Around You!
Codependency recovery is important because if you look behind addictions, dis-empowering and self-destructive thoughts, beliefs and behaviors and many mental disorders, you will find at their core is codependency. This is a term that is now familiar in the mainstream treatment modalities, but what exactly is it? Common definitions of codependency are a person who is a martyr, a caretaker or someone married to an addict of one type or another. Codependency can be this, but it is so much more, and just like untreated addictions, it kills.
Codependency at its core is when a person gives his or her power away to a person, place or thing to the detriment of his or her own needs. Essentially, it is a harmful, dysfunctional relationship — whether it be with a person or substance. Although giving of oneself and even self-sacrifice are necessary at times, when this behavior becomes a way of living life, this is called codependency. Another simple definition of codependency is an unequal exchange of energy between people; when one person is habitually giving more in a relationship than the other.
Codependency is based in a core fear that the world is unsafe. This is a very real fear that many people learn as “truth” when growing up in dysfunctional homes. Often codependent behaviors include the need to control, manipulate, obsess and worry about external circumstances in order to feel safe.
Examples of Codependency:
- Believing that taking care of your own needs before someone elses is “selfish”.
- Believing that your needs are not important.
- Not even knowing what your needs are.
- Believing that if only the other person or some external circumstance changed, you could be happy.
- Believing that if you do not stay on “alert” and hyper vigilant in your life, the “other shoe will drop”.
- Believing that it is your responsibility to “fix” someone else.
Codependence recovery is less common in modern society because unlike other addictions, codependency is encouraged in our world. The “martyr” is revered and speaking or living in your truth is discouraged. Codependency is an epidemic and is at the core of most depression and anxiety disorders. When a person does not connect with their authentic self and follow their own heart’s desire, a person will begin to feel resentful, unappreciated, drained and despairing. This state of disconnection is so painful, people search out relief through substances, prescription drugs, food, obsessive compulsiveness and a myriad of other dis-empowering behaviors to distract, medicate and numb the bad feelings.
Eventually all the coping mechanisms quit working. This is a blessing and an opportunity to make the shift from feeling like a victim to the external world (your spouse’s moods or destructive behaviors, your children’s lives, your job, the stock market etc.) to going within and finding you own inner voice and personal power. You can begin to recover and discover your own heart’s desire; your soul’s song; your source of joy and happiness; independent from external circumstances; and find the strength to create the life you want.
Codependency Recovery with Our Transformation Program
The Sanctuary at Sedona offers a holistic program for codependency recovery regardless of how the crisis is showing up in your life: whether it is physical (disease, illness, weight), emotional (depression, anxiety, addiction), soul (mid-life crisis, lack of purpose, direction or meaning) or spirit (toxic energy patterns, re-occurring disease patterns). Our unique recovery program is designed to work simultaneously on healing and integrating the mind, body, soul and spirit.
Read more about Our Holistic Addiction Recovery Program