02 Oct Are You in a Codependent Relationship?
12 Signs You May Be in a Codependent Relationship
Are you worried that you may be involved in a codependent relationship? You are not alone. Most people associate codependency with a partner who has an alcohol and substance abuse addiction, but there are other situations that can foster a codependent relationship. The following are 12 signs that you may want to look at more closely. The good news is that if you’re a codependent partner, you have the ability to recover, transform your life, and reclaim your soul’s destiny.
What is a Codependent Relationship?
A codependent relationship is one of inequality, where one person consistently gives more to the relationship than the other. Basically, it’s a one-sided relationship.
12 signs that you may be involved in a Codependent Relationship
These are just a few traits that may signal that your relationship is a codependent relationship of inequality. Do any of these traits sound familiar to you?
- Your partner’s needs are more important to you than your own.
- You feel responsible for and make excuses for your partner’s behavior. You may even make excuses for why you have to put up your partner’s behavior.
- You take care of your partner and do not take care of yourself or you feel guilty about doing something nice for yourself.
- You feel anxiety when your partner has a problem; you feel compelled to help your partner fix their problem.
- You settle for being needed vs. loved; you think that being needed is being loved.
- You repeatedly tell yourself that they will change, it is your responsibility to help them change, and then they will finally love you the way you deserve to be loved.
- You think that you aren’t good enough and could never find a better partner.
- You think that being in a relationship with someone is better than no one; and wonder if you will ever find true love.
- You obsess, worry, and become upset about something your partner did and are unable to move on from the obsessive thoughts that cycle in your head.
- You doubt your ability to take care of yourself.
- You feel victimized, angry, hurt, and used. You feel underappreciated.
- You feel trapped within the relationship; feel guilty at the thought of leaving; you don’t want to abandon your partner because your partner needs you and couldn’t live without you.
If you found that codependency is a factor in your relationship, can it be fixed? Before addressing the relationship and attempting to fix the relationship (a sign of codependency), it is important to focus on yourself first. Are you willing to change?
How did you get here? – The Roots of a Codependent Relationship
Codependency is a trait that is learned from childhood. People who are often codependent grew up in a household with the same behavioral patterns of low self-worth, repression, obsession, need to control, poor communication, weak boundaries, anger, lack of trust, denial, and dependency. As codependency is often associated with substance abuse, maybe a parent or someone you were close to as a child may have been an addict or involved in an abusive relationship. As the study of codependency has evolved, professionals realize that codependency isn’t just isolated to those who have been involved with addicts. Codependency can also be triggered in people who are involved in a variety of different types of dysfunctional relationships. For example, codependency may be triggered if you are involved:
- with an emotionally or mentally disturbed person;
- someone who is chronically ill;
- you are the parent of a child with behavioral problems;
- you are involved with a partner who is self-absorbed and uninterested.
These and other types of dysfunctional relationship scenarios can lead to a codependent relationship. This is a serious issue because it can rob a person of his or her dignity, independence, joy and self-love. A codependent relationship is a type of addiction with the same patterns and traits. They are progressive, declining over time. The longer the codependent is in the relationship the sicker they become and the more they do things that are against their value system. These behaviors become the norm and before long the codependent is doing things they never thought themselves to do. They become someone else.
Is is Possible to Recover from a Codependent Relationship?
Codependent recovery is absolutely achievable. Codependency recovery does not lie within your partner. Codependent recovery lies within yourself. Codependency recovery follows this path – each and every person is responsible for his/her own actions. You are not responsible for anyone’s behavior, but your own. To recover, you must focus on yourself and your necessities first. Once you start caring for yourself, the course of your relationship will naturally start to evolve or dissolve. Are you ready to recover? Do you believe that you can do it? Yes! “At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ― Lao Tzu
Codependent Relationship Recovery Options
Studying books, psychotherapy sessions, positive affirmations, and participating in 12 step codependency recovery programs have long been the popular choices for those seeking to recover from codependency. These methods are beautiful places to start your road to recovery. By addressing mental and behavioral patterns, you will discover opportunities for self-growth and improvement. However, these traditional therapies focus at the level of the mind and only address a singular part of you. Your body, mind, soul, and spirit are the components that define your being. To completely recover and heal, you must deepen your connection to your body, mind, soul, and spirit. You must discover opportunities to nurture yourself and reconnect with your spirit and soul. If you do not heal all parts collectively, and only focus at the level of the mind, you are missing the transformative connection with your sense of self. You will most likely only alleviate the symptoms of codependency versus addressing the actual root cause of how you became codependent. Without addressing and correcting the actual root cause, sustainable recovery will be difficult.
There has been a breakthrough in codependency recovery that is more effective than traditional therapeutic methods alone. Specialized holistic codependency recovery programs, like The Sanctuary at Sedona, use a combination of traditional therapy and energy medicine to address the root cause of your codependent patterns, help you heal family of origin issues; reconnect and align your body, mind, spirit, and soul. As part of these specialized holistic codependency recovery programs, you will lean techniques to help you honor and learn from the events of your past, finally let the past go, and break your cycle of the destructive codependent relationship. You will learn how to spiritually connect and align your mind, body, soul, and spirit. You will also learn to inform your body with new healthy patterns of behavior that center your entire being and bring yourself into graceful alignment. Recovering through traditional therapeutic methods is not always enough. Working at the collective level of the body, mind, soul, and spirit to correct the energetic imbalance that has bound you to these harmful patterns of behavior is your best chance for complete codependency recovery.
As you start your codependency recovery journey, there is no guarantee that you or your partner will want to stay in the relationship. Before making any decisions about the relationship, it is important to get yourself the help that you need to bring your entire being into alignment. Now is the time to stop obsessing and worrying about others and find the strength deep within yourself to nurture yourself, hold yourself with love, honor your wounds of the past, and move forward to reclaim your personal power. Now is the time to enliven the force within you that knows you are loved and you are worthy of love.